Back in the Wet Lab!

I am now fully installed in the "wet" lab and running!:)

It's been 3 years and a couple of months since I've prepared solutions, agar plates, PCR, agarose gels, bacterial cultures, extracted plasmid DNA... and it felt so GOOD to do it all again! :) But.... it has its drawbacks... I had forgotten how tiring it can be, how time itself cannot be speeded up... quite the opposite, in the lab time is a precious variable:) You forget to drink water, to eat in the mid-morning and mid-afternoon, you stop going to the gym... well at least I walk around back and forth quite a lot hehe that must count as exercise because my legs complaint at the end of the day!

What an adventure... yet another:) to start up a lab, making various constructs that'll take months.. and then finally run the hypothesis-driven experiments! "What a feeling...!" lol Yeah, it's tough... I have to conjugate (this word has totally different meaning for me now) both theoretical work (lots of in silico simulations to do) and out-of-control lab work and... supervision of a student. Nonetheless, it's worth and would do it all again.

It's going to be a very long year... but hopefully productive, fun, exciting and challenging as always ;)

Work, work, work... there's more life beyond the rediscovery of pipetting and growing fluorescent bacteria!... but right now, my eppendorf tubes are taking over... There's so much to be done... before I can go back... home!...

And home... in this precise moment is bed! I need a good night of sleep!

Bye bye*

Inspiration

When the wave of inspiration hits you, suddenly you feel alive, a living genius! Everything makes sense, everything seems worthy... All the time you invested in literature research and designing the perfect experiment is certainly the best excuse for not finishing some other project. It's a great feeling, until you start seeing the flaws. The doubts take over your reasoning, the uncertainties make you question what's the real question... is it about advancing the knowledge or is it about your ego?

When you think you have an hypothesis worth to share, and you think you've figured out a way of demonstrating its veracity... You really feel important! At least I did... But I've had enough of ideas... of plans... of projects... I wanna get in there and do it! How long...?

You ever feel guilty for wasting time? I do... What is "wasting time"? I guess for me it's all the time I spend looking at the sealing wondering if this or that wouldn't be possible and why and how... instead of working on what's here now waiting to be wrapped up, put together and... thrown to the big fishes!... And the time goes by... and I just love to come up with more and more ideas... especially when I finally started to understand something about the field!! (2 years later...! yes, I can be slow)...

And then... there's the YOUR Life, the real adventure! The big picture...

Where's the time for that when you choose to do a "successful" PhD? Because for me there's a difference between just doing enough to get that title or to do your BEST to deserve it. I've been in between these two definitions many times... Usually what feeds my motivation to do my best is knowing where the money comes from. And to honor the confidence that the people who had the power to decide whether I got the money or not, deposited on me. Then, there are the times when I feel that my work is incredibly interesting (a couple of weeks a year) or that it will actually get me some credit even (ego speaking). Yes, there is passion... a huge curiosity that never gets satisfied... but also disappointment about what has been done so far and why it has been done that way. I like to think of myself as the "get-the-job-done" person. But lately I find it hard... I discovered I can think for myself, I can come up with my own questions... The trouble is that the world keeps spinning and my funding will eventually run out! lol I have to do what I have to do... and get over with it.

Work, work, work... Patrick wherever you are, you were right: science is addictive, and once you're in you can't get it out of your system.

Sushi, cakes and tarts...

Eating good food is one of my favorite activities, as for most Portuguese people! Am I right?! ;) Feeding is welcoming, is a way socializing, of breaking the ice, is a Life choice! And... the more the better...

I have never been adventurous enough to cook any complicated meals or any meal that required more than 1 hour of work on my own... Perhaps, because I always had my mum and grand-mum cooking delicious meals for me:) Even throughout college... thank you Tupperware! It's a pity they can't mail to this damn island...

Recently, that is, since Nuno came to UK, I have been more pro-active... always conquer the man through his bailey! :D Until one day I got home and there was SUSHI in the fridge!!!!!!!! And it was a Friday!!

The 31st July 2010!

The Friday where home-made Sushi began! And now... it's hard not to fall for the temptation of preparing sushi everyday... Yesterday we prepared some more (on the left) and there's fish left in the freezer for the next time... What an addiction!

And it's not that difficult at all. All you need is rice vinegar,, sushi rice, water, salt, sugar, algae leafs... and fish, smoked or fresh and raw vegetables at your choice! And of course... Wasabi and Soya! :)

It is delicious...

But of course... a good diet is a diverse diet, and no diet is complete without chocolate or other sweets! :) One of my favorite desserts is my mother's apple tart... On the other hand, Nuno's favorite chocolate's cake is his mum's cake. So... to be fair we ought to do both! :) What a happy weekend...!

And here is the result of a well spent afternoon! But...

The chocolate cake didn't taste exactly the same... should have used more cacao and less milk chocolate. Still, there was nothing left after 3 days...

The tart was salty, didn't know what's the equivalent of "margarina" in english, so I went for the butter... big mistake... Nonetheless, we ate everything!! lol ... And they surely look good on the screen :D I just made another one

today using vegetable "butter" with no salt, which resulted in a perfect tasty pastry :)

Another favorite dish that me and Nuno absolutely love (!!!) is "Francesinha",

a typical dish from Porto (which actually has its origins in a french recipe).

The secret lies in its sauce: a tomato-beer-based sauce that transforms a simple toast of meat and cheese into a surprisingly tasty meal! Spicy, but not too much and with such a characteristic flavor and smell that you can't miss it!

It's a proper, heavy meal to watch football and drink beer (Super Bock or Sagres)!

And today we're making some more... because it's football time! Supertaça FCPorto-SLBenfica!

Allez Porto Allez!

When Dreams come True

You know when you want something to happen so badly that Life without it becomes unbearable?

And then... it comes the day when the dream, the anxiety, the doubts... vanish! And you're finally living the Life you dreamed of :) You feel fulfilled, happier than you can remember of... and yet, it only lasts if you continue to work hard... :)

Life is a roller coaster... But not so much. If you engage and take responsibility for your acts and thoughts, you may control how long it'll take to get you to the next curve... Head up, head down... Heart beating, heart stopped, still breathing!

Adaptation is a sign of intelligence. Love is also adaptation. One has to accept other's views, habits, needs, flaws... but if you are aware of all these small things and you still feel your body trembling every-time you cross each other's eyes... you can't be wrong ;)

It's only when someone challenges your certainties that you realize how stubborn you can be sometimes... I can't imagine living with another self! And I've been living on my own for quite a time... I forgot what it is to trust someone to do simple things... to recognize their effort... I am also trying to get back on track ;)

Living with your better half is the biggest challenge that your Love will ever face. Spending quality time can be hard when you see the same face everyday. Understanding or ignoring can be a tough decision but both are important at times. Learning to remain silent is also an important skill!

Ohhh but what can I say? Go for it! :)

I'm in Love!

What do I do?

I've just realized that I haven't told you what exactly am I doing to deserve 3-year PhD fellowship abroad financed by the Ministry of Science (aka FCT) from Portugal.

I can't believe I'm actually going to do my best to justify the ~35000€ that my government spends with my PhD EVERY Year, but I'll try.

Most of the times I think there's no plausible justification for this but then again the ministers themselves do even less and they keep fucking the country at their will every single day... and at least I try to elevate the name of my country as higher as I possible can!

I basically spend my days in front a of a computer trying to figure out why some types of plasmids are more successful than others in certain scenarios and not in others. Aren't lost yet? Let me help with some background information:

Plasmids are extra-chromosomal DNA molecules that can replicate

autonomously and some can also transfer themselves among bacteria. The transfer process also known as "sex in bacteria" is carried out through a mating bridge that allows the passage of one strand of plasmid DNA between the donor and the recipient cells. Moreover, they

often carry various genes for antibiotic resistance which allows pathogenic bacteria to escape antibiotic treatments.

However, in situations where the genes encoded by the plasmid aren't advantageous for its host, the cost of carrying this extra piece of DNA that relies on the host's resources to replicate and transfer can be high.

Plasmids with the ability of infecting and replicating in very different hosts (e.g. RK2 plasmid can replicate and transfer in both E. coli from the gut and P. putida found in soil) are named Broad-Host Range (BHR). They are expected to confer a high metabolic burden to their host since the frequent swapping between hosts should not allow enough time for co-evolution between plasmid and host. Other plasmids that can only be maintained in a small group of related hosts (e.g. F plasmid can only replicate in E. coli) are known as Narrow-Host Range (NHR) plasmids, and since they are well-adapted to their hosts the metabolic burden they impose is very small.

Previous studies have showed that higher transfer rates tend to be observed in dense microbial communities such as biofilms, i.e., aggregate of cells growing on a surface. In contrast, in a well-mixed bulk liquid environment plasmid-bearing cells are quickly outcompeted by plasmid-free cells unless the transfer rate at which the plasmid infects the population overcomes the fitness costs associated with its carriage.

And... to simulate all these events I use an Individual-based model, iDynoMiCS, but also standard mass action models based on differential equations simulated with Matlab.

And then the result looks somewhat like this:

And.. that's it for today... I can assure you there's more to this...! lol Still, not yet enough to save the world from Humanity!...

Hot days in Birmingham!

Yes, it looks like Summer is hitting Birmingham this weekend! If they were walking almost naked already, imagine it now!... I have to stop making these ironic statements, nothing good can come out of them... but what the hell I have to blame SOMEONE!

It's a warm evening, I'm wearing a t-shirt and shorts and I don't feel cold :)

It's nice. What's not nice is me being locked up at home in such a great evening... but tomorrow will come... and that's going to be a pretty crazy night!... Lady's only!

With this warm weather I can't get stressed, even if I have experiments to run, an article and a 21 month report to write until the 25th of June! Muahahahah... I guess I'll just have to "pull out a Macgyver" and do everything on my knee as usual!...

So much is about to come true in the second half of the year... :) I will finally have some company at home... no more sleeping alone :):):)

I'm going to America for the first time! Both North and South! lol That's going to be something... Though I think I'll only be going back to the South part!...

Hopefully I'll be back to the wet lab... doing some genetics and using plasmids as the object of study and not simply as a vector! playing with fluorescence:):):)

And... of course most of all I want the unexpected to happen! Good or Bad? Catch me if you can :D

Honesty, politics and bullshit

I just realized "bullshit" is formed of two words "bull" + "shit". I guess bulls shit a lot, but at least they do it in front of everyone, not like Us, Humans. We like to shit in secrecy don't we? Oh yeah, it feels so good. It's all about pleasure as Freud would argue.

Honesty... nothing but mind games. So much energy wasted, so much invested in emptiness, only to fulfill someone's Ego. But as I read somewhere today, never regret the efforts you put into something even if it doesn't lead you anywhere. Because just the fact that you did it without expecting nothing in return makes you THE bigger person :) And I am a Big Girl in a Big Big World...

Politics... the art of management! The art of convincing people that there is no way out but to follow their rules. The art of being in debt with everyone but living as the king of the world. Tricky game. Lies always float but they'll eventually drown you.

And isn't it Ironic?

Work work work...

No time to doubt. No time to question. No time to argue.

It's time to work. It's time to show what Portuguese are made of. It's time to overcome myself.

What's best is what's left. What's best is hidden. What's best is there for you to find it.

I want the fun. I want the Sun. I want to travel... I want to meet you out there! I want... I need... I will...

Difficult times require extreme dedication and focus.

On a more down to Earth note... I'm pretty fed up of being surrounded by people that dream-walk about their Nature publication... I just want to finish my work here and go back! Yes, back to Portugal! Yes I like it! I don't care if I'll make less money, I don't care if my work is not recognized and appreciated (it's not about you, it's about knowledge!), I only care about the Sun, the grass/sand and the panaché! Oh yeah! And that doesn't make me any less brilliant or intelligent than you all out there in the small offices writing your reports for Science and Nature! Do yourselves a favor and GET a LIFE!

Ahhhh, much more relieved now that I've made peace with my choices and others' opinions :)

Breath in, breath out. Be proud, 'cause YOU are UNIQUE! :)

Decision making...

It's hard to make decisions. Especially if they involve human relationships, either work, friendship or love...

Today I moved into the office next door... I have more space and there's less people around, so I hope in the long term I can be more focused on my work.... I need peace of mind, I need to be selfish and think about me more often and not to worry so much about others' problems... they're theirs, not mine. I have enough problems/questions/projects already!

I am sorry if I hurt someone... I didn't mean to :|

But, at the end I'm happier and I think I made the right choice.

It's cold in Birmingham even if it's sunny...

Random

Another weekend... where I had planned to work and I didn't... aiiie

Another weekend of partying, drinking and dancing... and it feels so good!! even if sometimes becomes boring...

but this weekend there was a new activity! Body Attack! Jumping and running during one hour! wow perfect to forget everything else... my mind just went blank and I felt naturally happy :)

This is going to be a year to remember...I hope! I'm going to do many things for the first time and also go to places I've never been to... looking forward :)

2010

Hello everyone! Welcome to 2010!

yes, welcome, because it's me who's in charge ah ah ah Make your wishes!!

They say we should start the new year by analyzing the past year in depth... I didn't do that, I stayed on the surface... I believe I've done enough introspection throughout the year, no need to revive those memories again and again.

I haven't thought about my new year's resolutions but there's something I have decided about my future: I will not live in UK beyond my PhD, even if I have to go back to Portugal and clean toilets!

Until then, I'll do my best in science, friendship, love and health!

I'm not perfect but I am a perfectionist. Know yourself, accept yourself and you'll find the happiness you're looking for :)

... and remember, there are priorities, and the most important of all is to be and make others HAPPY!

Happy new year!!!